Ok, I know that many of you will be like "here she goes again!" but I feel obliged to offer an account of the operation [yes it's an operation] I underwent last Thursday.
The day started off with mum poking her head in my door, "It's 7 O'clock" she said. It was still really, really dark so I turned over wondering why mum decided to wake me that early. It wasn't like I had to have time to eat breakfast before we left.
Before an operation like a biopsy the patient isn't allowed to eat anything within six or so hours before the operation. Considering this, I finished off my last packet of squiggles [the best bickies in the universe] the night before.
It was really frosty when we left and I was feeling nervous even though I tried not to. But I was armed with the 'waiting room bingo' cards that I'd made the day before so at least the wait would be good.
Mum and I didn't get lost on our journey to the Gastroenterology department like we usually do in hospitals. It was nice, so I sat down and we started giggling a little, ticking off the boxes on the bingo cards.
Suddenly, only minutes after we sat down, a turquoise clad nurse named Jo came over and said my name. I gulped.
After a little interview with the nurse [where I asked for a copy of one of the pictures of my gut] mum went back to the dull waiting room and I was lead away into an airy ward a few meters off. It was pretty empty but I was told that later in the day they may have to top and tail patients. I was glad that my appointment was brought forward. By this time I was thoroughly enjoying myself, apart from the odd twinge that buried nerves give. I read magazines and felt like a lady of leisure as the nurse tucked the blanket around my feet.
I was also glad that I didn't have to wear a hospital gown. My ski pants were nice and snug under the thick hospital sheet.
Someone said the word "Theresa" and I gulped once again. There was a huge flood of nerves, then a second later resignation and a determination to enjoy this strange experience. Being wheeled into the special biopsy room really helped with the enjoyment part, it was so much fun that I started joking with the nurse who's name was also Theresa.
She clicked one of those cool finger pulse checkers onto my finger and I watched my pulse to up and down on the blue machine to my right.
I wasn't sure how painful or scary the biopsy might be. Considering one of the complications listed in the brochure is "awareness of the procedure"- I was hoping that the drugs would do their thing.
"This tastes gross but it numbs your throat." The nurse said. I told her that I'm all for pain killers and opened my mouth, she sprayed then said, "it makes it feel like you can't swallow but you actually can."
Cool.
She walked out of the room in search of the Dr. My mouth went numb and I felt a bit like I was choking, it felt like I couldn't swallow. Bleugh! And the nurse had deserted me. Oh great.
She came back in with the Dr who, by his appearance and voice instilled in me the feeling that I could trust him and wouldn't mind him shoving that long licoricey cord down my throat. He looked like he knew what he was doing. I didn't trust the nurse the same though and made the "I have bad veins" speech as she pulled out the lure gear. Considering that I had bad veins, she tightened the tourniquet really, really tight. I hated having the lure put in my hand. A lure is one of those things that you see on patients, like a permanent blood test needle + that plastic outer for the vial. It really hurt and bruised quite a bit. She put that plastic sticky stuff on top which made my hand look like it belonged to an old lady.
I felt like a real hospital patient now, with a numb tongue and blood smeared around the ugly lure in my hand. I looked away as the Dr busied himself with something down near where my [now sore] hand was. This was the bit that I'd been dreading, the injection. Surely, it would hurt like crazy.
I felt something funny in my hand and turned toward the Dr, "It shouldn't take too long," he said gesturing, "to get from here" - my hand, "to here," he pointed at my head.
Cool.
I was turned over right onto my shoulder and they put a green mouth guard into my mouth. By that time my eyes were closed and I was drifting out.
That going to sleep feeling was so awesome, I really, really liked it. That's possibly not a good thing, but hey.
I have a slight consciousness of stuff happening, but don't remember anything about the procedure itself.
Half an hour later I opened my eyes a little bit, then closed them. It took about fifteen minutes for me to become fully awake again. I know this because there was a clock right near my bed. I was in the ward again, with the pulse checker still on my finger and the lure still in my hand. But I knew that it had finished, so just lay there, content.
The biopsy itself didn't show any visual damage in my gut, so I have to wait for a week till the results from the lab are sent to my Dr. But that's ok, my sister who has coeliacs didn't have any visual damage either.
Ok, that post was really long, but it gives you an idea of what it's like. If you are ever going for a biopsy/endoscopy - don't freak out. It's a really easy procedure and if you lie back and observe the interesting things you should enjoy yourself.
